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Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it. |
Success Mindset - Professional - Self-Coaching
Self-coaching is a cycle that can be repeated time after time.
What is the difference between observe and perceive?
What is the difference between observe and perceive?
- Observe - To notice or view, especially carefully or with attention to detail.
- Perceive - To see, to be aware of, to understand.
| self_coaching_workbook_-_professional.pdf |
For each of the questions below you are going to do the following, you can download the workbook above which will take you through it:
Observe
START THE CYCLE AGAIN, from your new starting point.
Observe
- Mark yourself out of 10.
- Write down why you didn't give yourself the number below?
- Write down why you didn't give yourself the number above?
- What do you need to do to get to the next number - brain storm ideas, you can also use the strategies below.
- Don't overwhelm yourself, look at all your answers and work on just one area that has the lowest score..
- Choose 1 thing from your list that you are going to do for the next week.
- Do it! Every day, get someone to hold you accountable if needed.
- What went well?
- What didn't go so well?
- What would you differently next time?
- This is important, too often we down play our small achievements but it is those achievements that help us achieve bigger things.
START THE CYCLE AGAIN, from your new starting point.
Below are some strategies and information to help you start increasing your Success Mindset in each area:
1. Overall how do you rate your professional success?
Try writing down all the things you have achieved professionally, find at least 5 things you have achieved successfully. Note how you feel before and after doing this. We are prone to focusing on what we haven’t achieved rather than what we have. Getting bogged down in the negative will stop you seeing any positives.
What would you need to do to give yourself a higher score in this area?
2. How well do you cope with stress?
When we are stressed our Emotional Intelligence is challenged, it becomes increasingly difficult to manage negative emotions and impulses and this leads to decreased concentration and overall performance and impairs our decision making. One very simple strategy is to take a 1-5 minute time out, if you feel your stress levels rising. Depending on whether you are in an open plan office and how comfortable you feel it can be done at your desk or you can move to somewhere quiet. Set a silent vibration alarm on your phone for 1-5 minutes. Then simply sit, and focus on your breathing, if your mind starts to wonder, bring it back to the breathing, the more you do this the easier it will become. By the end you will feel much more relaxed and in a better place to get on with the rest of your day.
3. How well do you handle criticism or negative feedback?
For personal development to be successful learning to listen to and accept criticism and negative feedback with an open mind is essential. Try reframing the situation in your mind. There is no such thing as failure only feedback and feedback is vital if we want to improve ourselves.
Take responsibility for the feedback:
4. How good are you at dealing with conflict?
Talk about it don’t let it fester. It will probably feel scary but when it’s done the relief will be greater than your fear.
This area is all about emotional self-management. Try to CHOOSE how you respond to things, stop, breathe, count to three.
Then ask one or both of these questions:
Then think about your reply.
Simon Sinek offers another strategy in this video that works really well too
1. Overall how do you rate your professional success?
Try writing down all the things you have achieved professionally, find at least 5 things you have achieved successfully. Note how you feel before and after doing this. We are prone to focusing on what we haven’t achieved rather than what we have. Getting bogged down in the negative will stop you seeing any positives.
What would you need to do to give yourself a higher score in this area?
2. How well do you cope with stress?
When we are stressed our Emotional Intelligence is challenged, it becomes increasingly difficult to manage negative emotions and impulses and this leads to decreased concentration and overall performance and impairs our decision making. One very simple strategy is to take a 1-5 minute time out, if you feel your stress levels rising. Depending on whether you are in an open plan office and how comfortable you feel it can be done at your desk or you can move to somewhere quiet. Set a silent vibration alarm on your phone for 1-5 minutes. Then simply sit, and focus on your breathing, if your mind starts to wonder, bring it back to the breathing, the more you do this the easier it will become. By the end you will feel much more relaxed and in a better place to get on with the rest of your day.
3. How well do you handle criticism or negative feedback?
For personal development to be successful learning to listen to and accept criticism and negative feedback with an open mind is essential. Try reframing the situation in your mind. There is no such thing as failure only feedback and feedback is vital if we want to improve ourselves.
Take responsibility for the feedback:
- What is this feedback telling you?
- What can you learn from this?
- How can you improve yourself, so you don’t get this feedback again?
4. How good are you at dealing with conflict?
Talk about it don’t let it fester. It will probably feel scary but when it’s done the relief will be greater than your fear.
This area is all about emotional self-management. Try to CHOOSE how you respond to things, stop, breathe, count to three.
Then ask one or both of these questions:
- Can I just check I have understood properly? (say back what you have understood)
- Can you give me some more information so I can understand better?
Then think about your reply.
- How would you feel if someone said that to you? If you feel angry or hurt don’t say it.
Simon Sinek offers another strategy in this video that works really well too
5. How comfortable are you with change?
Dealing with change often makes us feel uncomfortable or afraid, if you can identify what you feel uncomfortable about and what you are afraid of this is the first step, if it is a lack of information causing either of these issues go and seek the information and talk to people rather than sitting and stewing on it..
What is happening during change is that we are moving out of our comfort zone and being challenged. What we need to do is move through this fear zone as quickly as possible into the learning zone.
Change is inevitable and the more we fight it negatively and try to resist it the worse it will be. We can’t stop the change, but we can choose how we react to it. Try looking at it as a positive rather than a negative.
6. How positive are you professionally?
Every day try to find and write down three good things about work every day, it could be anything from a conversation over a cup of tea, to an interaction with a client or a small part of your job that you really enjoy. If you focus on the negative, you only see the negative, if you start to shift that focus you will start to see more positive things.
7. How well do you cope when people say 'no' in a professional setting?
Here are some things to consider:
If they are prepared to answer it will give you insight into their thinking.
- What new opportunities will it offer?
- What new learning experiences will there be?
- Will it allow you to solve any of your current problems?
6. How positive are you professionally?
Every day try to find and write down three good things about work every day, it could be anything from a conversation over a cup of tea, to an interaction with a client or a small part of your job that you really enjoy. If you focus on the negative, you only see the negative, if you start to shift that focus you will start to see more positive things.
7. How well do you cope when people say 'no' in a professional setting?
Here are some things to consider:
- The meaning of your communication is the response you get, if you had asked differently would you have got a different answer? Some people don’t like direct communication and will feel threatened or think you are being rude – try a more subtle, suggestive approach with them. Others may not pick up hints and subtle suggestion and you will need to be more direct with them. Everyone is different, one of these styles will be your natural style, the other will not fell comfortable to you but may need to be developed to get the answers you require.
- If you get a no or I’m not interested, why not try asking the following:
If they are prepared to answer it will give you insight into their thinking.
- When somebody says ‘no’ don’t take it personally, it’s not about you it’s about them. You don’t know what their day has been like before you asked that question, they may have been up all night with a child, they may have a sick parent or relative, they may be having problems at home, they may have just had a really stressful business meeting. Also consider that they may just not be ready to say ‘yes’ yet. Don’t be a keyboard warrior and reply too quickly, take a deep breath, count to three, work out your reply BUT before you respond think how you would feel if you received your reply, if it would annoy you don’t say/write it! Rise above knee jerk reactions and be kind.
8. How good are you at taking action professionally?
Firstly, ask yourself why you are not getting on with things?
Most of the time it comes down to whether you feel overwhelmed by the amount you have to do and the motivation you have to get things done. Our brains are just like those of kids, each day put only 3 things on your list, once you have done each one cross it off, this releases happy drugs from our brain and establishes as success habit, do this each day. If you do more than three things that’s fine but three is the daily target. It has to seem achievable to you. Each day you achieve this cross it off on your calendar, once you have done it every day for a month give yourself a reward – it could be a nice bottle of wine, a meal out, treating yourself to something you have wanted for ages BUT only award yourself of you do it. I can assure you that the feeling of satisfaction is worth the effort. Also avoid multi-tasking, you will be 40% less productive.
This video has a fun activity to show why multitasking is not effective, give it a try!
Firstly, ask yourself why you are not getting on with things?
Most of the time it comes down to whether you feel overwhelmed by the amount you have to do and the motivation you have to get things done. Our brains are just like those of kids, each day put only 3 things on your list, once you have done each one cross it off, this releases happy drugs from our brain and establishes as success habit, do this each day. If you do more than three things that’s fine but three is the daily target. It has to seem achievable to you. Each day you achieve this cross it off on your calendar, once you have done it every day for a month give yourself a reward – it could be a nice bottle of wine, a meal out, treating yourself to something you have wanted for ages BUT only award yourself of you do it. I can assure you that the feeling of satisfaction is worth the effort. Also avoid multi-tasking, you will be 40% less productive.
This video has a fun activity to show why multitasking is not effective, give it a try!
9. On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like yourself?
10. On a scale of 1-10 how much do you respect yourself?
The more you like and respect yourself the nicer you will be to yourself. Most people are very hard on themselves and this can really hold you back, your mind believes everything you tell it! You also need to be able to hold yourself accountable, if you respect yourself you will look after your mental and physical health. Treat yourself as you would treat others!
To start changing how you feel about yourself write down the answers to the following questions, do this for both your ‘like’ score and your ‘respect’ score:
Example – you gave yourself a 6/10
If you would like to book a free initial consultation, please use this link to find yourself a suitable time.
https://calendly.com/ascendperformancecoaching/initial-consultation
Kind Regards
Vicky Henderson
10. On a scale of 1-10 how much do you respect yourself?
The more you like and respect yourself the nicer you will be to yourself. Most people are very hard on themselves and this can really hold you back, your mind believes everything you tell it! You also need to be able to hold yourself accountable, if you respect yourself you will look after your mental and physical health. Treat yourself as you would treat others!
To start changing how you feel about yourself write down the answers to the following questions, do this for both your ‘like’ score and your ‘respect’ score:
Example – you gave yourself a 6/10
- Why didn’t you give yourself a 5?
- Why didn’t you give yourself a 7?
- What do you need to do to move from 6 to 7?
If you would like to book a free initial consultation, please use this link to find yourself a suitable time.
https://calendly.com/ascendperformancecoaching/initial-consultation
Kind Regards
Vicky Henderson
